Pick Your Hard
For me CHANGE is hard. Unless it is MY idea, then it's great! I think FEAR is what causes us to not accept change easily. That's a "control" issue, in my opinion. But think about it, we don't take the time to THINK and peel back the layers and look at what is truly holding us back. It's not the change, but the loss of control to the change and that equals fear of not being in control. Bottom line...fear.
I started this blog years ago when I was embarking on weight loss surgery. After not having the surgery, I felt like I still had things to say and share, but all in all, my issues are always surrounded around WEIGHT. Ugh. I can't deny it, it is what I always think about no matter what I'm doing, where I'm going, and what is going on in the future. How did this happen?
Well, unfortunately we don't have that much time to go back and delve into my past, we'd be here all day, all week and all month. Hell, we could be here ALL year! I'm almost 50! That's a lot of years to talk about! But I think that there are a lot of people who feel like I do and cannot express it, or feel that they have no one to talk to or understands what they're going through. It's sad to feel all alone, or feel embarrassment or shame in what you're thinking and feeling. It hurts to feel rejected or misunderstood.
A lot of people whom do NOT have a weight problem, whom have NEVER had a weight problem, don't fully comprehend that it's not easy to just not eat, or just go walk, or just not think about food. It's HARD! I hate hearing from people who don't have the daily struggle that "if I could only lose 5-8 pounds, I could fit into my jeans!" Oh, Lord, You're upset about 5-8 lbs? Those 5-8 are a major deal for them, I get it. But, please Thin Person, you are being so rude when you complain about your little 5-8 lbs. in front of someone who has 50-100+ pounds to lose. We only WISH we could complain about 5-8lbs if it was the LAST 5-8 lbs we needed to lose!
I wish skinny people could be fat for a week. Just 1 full week, carry around 50-100 lbs and see how you feel, how you're looked at and how you're treated. People tell me I'm beautiful all the time, and I appreciate that, I truly do. BUT those people KNOW me already. They know my heart and soul, so they're biased I think. They have seen me at my best and my worst and love me regardless, and I too them. I do clean up pretty well, when I have my face on and I'm half way dressed, but I have to FEEL like doing it. Sometimes I feel that being overweight makes me NOT want to do the things that are best for me. Like exercise, eating right, taking care of yourself, putting your make-up on, etc. Sometimes the weight issue becomes so great that a lot of times I've struggled with depression. I used to feel like there was no use.
I can relate to others who struggle on so many levels having suffered from that for many many years. At first I thought something was wrong with me, or that I was going crazy. I didn't want to do even the basics of normal care and hygiene. My poor husband would be at work all day long and I'd be asleep most of the day or in my night clothes till an hour before he'd get home. I'd try to pull it together so I didn't look like a zombie. I didn't know how to explain to him what I was feeling or thinking. It's hard hurting on the inside. I'm a very blessed woman that I can honestly say that my husband is crazy about me and loves my body. Not every woman can say that. Sometimes he's too comfortable with my size that he forgets that we do not share the same metabolism or same kind of job that allows me to work it off like he does. But it is hard when you're hurting, and even more so when you DO have people that love you, and love you the way you are. But that doesn't matter sometimes. It matters that we love ourselves FIRST. That's a hard thing to grasp. Love MYSELF first. How do I do that when I hate the way I look and feel?
I don't have an answer for that fully. My journey is a daily one. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am now. I've lost 40 lbs in the last year, and I'm STILL not done, but I try to set tiny goals. 1 day goals. I have to do 1 thing at a time, 1 hour at a time, 1 meal at a time. I started to think about what would "make me happy?" So, I thought, If I set small reachable goals, then I won't put unrealistic expectations on myself, and that will make me happy! So I did that!
I'd set a small goal, If can drink ALL of my water in a day, I'm happy. I've accomplished something. If I can log all of my food that I've eaten for the day, I'm happy. If I can keep my nutrient value within certain limits, again, I'm happy. I'm happy because again, I've accomplished SOMETHING. And something is better than nothing! It takes CHANGE to make progress, and it takes consistency to make those changes stick.
In the past year I have lost 40lbs. I still need a lot more to lose, but it's happening. It's gradual too. People ask me what I'm doing? "What diet are you doing?" Listen, I'm NOT on a diet! NO DIETS WORK! NONE. 0. ZILCH. NADA. NOTHING. So stop with the diets! Just stop it already. Its about food going in. Let's just START there! Skinny people, quit telling fat people that its calories going in vs. calories going out. We don't care about the OUT calories. NOT at first anyway! The other will come later! Its food we're talking about! It's our friend, our lover, our confidant, our shoulder when we need one. It's so much more than JUST calories! We can only focus on 1 thing at a time! Don't argue! 1 THING at a TIME! SHHHHTTTTTT PLEASE!
I first started by changing WHAT is going in. 1 thing! But I needed to SEE it. So I started logging it then I started to work a simple program and tried to STAY within that program's recommended daily allowances. If you can TRY to start there, great! Write it down or log it somewhere, so you can SEE what it is you're putting in your body. I know, it's a pain in the ass, but I can proudly say, that as of today, I have successfully and continuously logged 428 days in my LoseIT app! That's a lot of days!!! Yeah, I know! Right! But I've done it! So, I'm happy!
The things I TRY to do daily, (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't), are drink half of my weight in water in ounces a day. Example, 200 lbs = 100 ounces of water. People, say, "oh my goodness! Thats a lot of water!!!" Yeah, I know, I think I'm drowning sometimes, but guess what? You'll drink less water the more weight your lose! I use my favorite App called Lose It. I love love love this App. (It's FREE!) It's easy, its fun and I can see the things I need to see. It also has a scanner to help with quick logging. There is a paid version too, but do what's best for you. There is a place in there where you can adjust what nutrients you want to keep a closer eye on. Maybe you need to watch your sodium, or carbs, whatever, you can do that in there. Love it! For me, I try to keep my glycemic index under control. I WAS Type 2 diabetic, but now I'm diet controlled. Keeping track of my carbs helped with that.
The other thing about tracking those 3 nutrients for ME, is that I learned about how important those ratios are when I lost 75 lbs in 8 months, 16 years ago! I accomplished that using The Formula 40-30-30 Weight Loss Program. It's a book written by Gene & Joyce Daoust. To this day I still use their recipes for eating. Its a great plan and its simple and easy to use. I will say there is a lot of prep, but that goes with the territory. You've got to chose what's important to you. It's about planning. I'm more successful when I plan no matter what I'm doing or using to monitor my weight and eating habits.
The other thing I use is an App called iTrackBites. It's a paid App., it looks like Weight Watchers. I notice I lose more when I use this app in conjunction with my Lose It app. I just love the look and ease of use of Lose It, but iTrackBites is good too, it's just different.
As far as exercise goes, I WALK. I began to walk after I had lost my first 15lbs. I FELT like walking then! I use RunKeeper (the free version) and it's linked to my Lose It app so I get my exercise calories logged. I started doing virtual racing through another site called Yes.Fit. It is AWESOME! AMAZING! LOVE IT!!! It's hard for me to explain it, but go to their website and check it out! If you're going to walk mine as well walk towards a goal! I have completed 5 races already! It's so fun and so addicting! It really makes you want to walk and want to log those miles! For me it keeps me motivated and keeps walking a priority. You can sync your Runkeeper to your LoseIt App and Yes.Fit, and it will push your information to those Apps to keep your info updated! It's fantastic! If nothing else, when you go shopping, turn on your Runkeeper, turn the volume down, start walking from your car till you're back in the car, (DON'T FORGET TO TURN IT OFF when you're back in!) and you'll see how fast you log your steps and distance! I love my Costco trips! It's not hard to log a mile there!
I know that EVERYTHING I mentioned up above is a LOT. It won't work for everyone. I know it sounds like I'm obsessive about it, but truthfully, at this stage of the game I really can't afford NOT to be. I'm closer to 50 than ever before and I can't go into the next phase of my life continuing to make poor decisions for my health and my body. For one thing I can't afford it! Mentally, emotionally, or financially!
I may NOT do ALL things everyday either, BUT if NOTHING else, I at least log into my Lose It App! I don't care if I didn't do 1 other single thing all day or week! I will log my food. Hey, progress not perfection right?
Change. Change. Change. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. And it's Hard. Hard. Hard. But so is being fat and unhealthy. SO, pick your hard. Change or Fat?
I hope that no matter where you are in life, or what you are dealing with, whether it's weight, depression, addiction, or other things, just know YOU are NOT ALONE. I promise you, there is someone in the struggle with you. It's hard to reach outside of ourselves sometimes and ask for help. Shame keeps us quiet and trapped. You don't have to be though. There is always someone out there willing to help us even when we think there isn't.
I hope that this blog finds those that need to read this and that if you received any message from this, I hope that it gives you comfort. I believe God speaks to us through other people, and we never know when or where we'll get our messages, but if you got yours today, amen. Please feel free to comment and share. I'd love to hear from you!
Love and Light to All,
~*M*~
I started this blog years ago when I was embarking on weight loss surgery. After not having the surgery, I felt like I still had things to say and share, but all in all, my issues are always surrounded around WEIGHT. Ugh. I can't deny it, it is what I always think about no matter what I'm doing, where I'm going, and what is going on in the future. How did this happen?
Well, unfortunately we don't have that much time to go back and delve into my past, we'd be here all day, all week and all month. Hell, we could be here ALL year! I'm almost 50! That's a lot of years to talk about! But I think that there are a lot of people who feel like I do and cannot express it, or feel that they have no one to talk to or understands what they're going through. It's sad to feel all alone, or feel embarrassment or shame in what you're thinking and feeling. It hurts to feel rejected or misunderstood.
A lot of people whom do NOT have a weight problem, whom have NEVER had a weight problem, don't fully comprehend that it's not easy to just not eat, or just go walk, or just not think about food. It's HARD! I hate hearing from people who don't have the daily struggle that "if I could only lose 5-8 pounds, I could fit into my jeans!" Oh, Lord, You're upset about 5-8 lbs? Those 5-8 are a major deal for them, I get it. But, please Thin Person, you are being so rude when you complain about your little 5-8 lbs. in front of someone who has 50-100+ pounds to lose. We only WISH we could complain about 5-8lbs if it was the LAST 5-8 lbs we needed to lose!
I wish skinny people could be fat for a week. Just 1 full week, carry around 50-100 lbs and see how you feel, how you're looked at and how you're treated. People tell me I'm beautiful all the time, and I appreciate that, I truly do. BUT those people KNOW me already. They know my heart and soul, so they're biased I think. They have seen me at my best and my worst and love me regardless, and I too them. I do clean up pretty well, when I have my face on and I'm half way dressed, but I have to FEEL like doing it. Sometimes I feel that being overweight makes me NOT want to do the things that are best for me. Like exercise, eating right, taking care of yourself, putting your make-up on, etc. Sometimes the weight issue becomes so great that a lot of times I've struggled with depression. I used to feel like there was no use.
I can relate to others who struggle on so many levels having suffered from that for many many years. At first I thought something was wrong with me, or that I was going crazy. I didn't want to do even the basics of normal care and hygiene. My poor husband would be at work all day long and I'd be asleep most of the day or in my night clothes till an hour before he'd get home. I'd try to pull it together so I didn't look like a zombie. I didn't know how to explain to him what I was feeling or thinking. It's hard hurting on the inside. I'm a very blessed woman that I can honestly say that my husband is crazy about me and loves my body. Not every woman can say that. Sometimes he's too comfortable with my size that he forgets that we do not share the same metabolism or same kind of job that allows me to work it off like he does. But it is hard when you're hurting, and even more so when you DO have people that love you, and love you the way you are. But that doesn't matter sometimes. It matters that we love ourselves FIRST. That's a hard thing to grasp. Love MYSELF first. How do I do that when I hate the way I look and feel?
I don't have an answer for that fully. My journey is a daily one. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am now. I've lost 40 lbs in the last year, and I'm STILL not done, but I try to set tiny goals. 1 day goals. I have to do 1 thing at a time, 1 hour at a time, 1 meal at a time. I started to think about what would "make me happy?" So, I thought, If I set small reachable goals, then I won't put unrealistic expectations on myself, and that will make me happy! So I did that!
I'd set a small goal, If can drink ALL of my water in a day, I'm happy. I've accomplished something. If I can log all of my food that I've eaten for the day, I'm happy. If I can keep my nutrient value within certain limits, again, I'm happy. I'm happy because again, I've accomplished SOMETHING. And something is better than nothing! It takes CHANGE to make progress, and it takes consistency to make those changes stick.
In the past year I have lost 40lbs. I still need a lot more to lose, but it's happening. It's gradual too. People ask me what I'm doing? "What diet are you doing?" Listen, I'm NOT on a diet! NO DIETS WORK! NONE. 0. ZILCH. NADA. NOTHING. So stop with the diets! Just stop it already. Its about food going in. Let's just START there! Skinny people, quit telling fat people that its calories going in vs. calories going out. We don't care about the OUT calories. NOT at first anyway! The other will come later! Its food we're talking about! It's our friend, our lover, our confidant, our shoulder when we need one. It's so much more than JUST calories! We can only focus on 1 thing at a time! Don't argue! 1 THING at a TIME! SHHHHTTTTTT PLEASE!
I first started by changing WHAT is going in. 1 thing! But I needed to SEE it. So I started logging it then I started to work a simple program and tried to STAY within that program's recommended daily allowances. If you can TRY to start there, great! Write it down or log it somewhere, so you can SEE what it is you're putting in your body. I know, it's a pain in the ass, but I can proudly say, that as of today, I have successfully and continuously logged 428 days in my LoseIT app! That's a lot of days!!! Yeah, I know! Right! But I've done it! So, I'm happy!
 |
| Lose It App (http://Loseit.com) |
The other thing about tracking those 3 nutrients for ME, is that I learned about how important those ratios are when I lost 75 lbs in 8 months, 16 years ago! I accomplished that using The Formula 40-30-30 Weight Loss Program. It's a book written by Gene & Joyce Daoust. To this day I still use their recipes for eating. Its a great plan and its simple and easy to use. I will say there is a lot of prep, but that goes with the territory. You've got to chose what's important to you. It's about planning. I'm more successful when I plan no matter what I'm doing or using to monitor my weight and eating habits. |
| iTrackbites App |
The other thing I use is an App called iTrackBites. It's a paid App., it looks like Weight Watchers. I notice I lose more when I use this app in conjunction with my Lose It app. I just love the look and ease of use of Lose It, but iTrackBites is good too, it's just different.
I love WW, but couldn't afford the monthly fees, so I found this and it's worked for me. I know lots of people have had a ton of success with their programs and it's a tried and true program. Again, whatever works best for you!
As far as exercise goes, I WALK. I began to walk after I had lost my first 15lbs. I FELT like walking then! I use RunKeeper (the free version) and it's linked to my Lose It app so I get my exercise calories logged. I started doing virtual racing through another site called Yes.Fit. It is AWESOME! AMAZING! LOVE IT!!! It's hard for me to explain it, but go to their website and check it out! If you're going to walk mine as well walk towards a goal! I have completed 5 races already! It's so fun and so addicting! It really makes you want to walk and want to log those miles! For me it keeps me motivated and keeps walking a priority. You can sync your Runkeeper to your LoseIt App and Yes.Fit, and it will push your information to those Apps to keep your info updated! It's fantastic! If nothing else, when you go shopping, turn on your Runkeeper, turn the volume down, start walking from your car till you're back in the car, (DON'T FORGET TO TURN IT OFF when you're back in!) and you'll see how fast you log your steps and distance! I love my Costco trips! It's not hard to log a mile there!
 |
| Yes.Fit |
I know that EVERYTHING I mentioned up above is a LOT. It won't work for everyone. I know it sounds like I'm obsessive about it, but truthfully, at this stage of the game I really can't afford NOT to be. I'm closer to 50 than ever before and I can't go into the next phase of my life continuing to make poor decisions for my health and my body. For one thing I can't afford it! Mentally, emotionally, or financially!
I may NOT do ALL things everyday either, BUT if NOTHING else, I at least log into my Lose It App! I don't care if I didn't do 1 other single thing all day or week! I will log my food. Hey, progress not perfection right?
Change. Change. Change. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. And it's Hard. Hard. Hard. But so is being fat and unhealthy. SO, pick your hard. Change or Fat?
I hope that no matter where you are in life, or what you are dealing with, whether it's weight, depression, addiction, or other things, just know YOU are NOT ALONE. I promise you, there is someone in the struggle with you. It's hard to reach outside of ourselves sometimes and ask for help. Shame keeps us quiet and trapped. You don't have to be though. There is always someone out there willing to help us even when we think there isn't.
I hope that this blog finds those that need to read this and that if you received any message from this, I hope that it gives you comfort. I believe God speaks to us through other people, and we never know when or where we'll get our messages, but if you got yours today, amen. Please feel free to comment and share. I'd love to hear from you!
Love and Light to All,
~*M*~
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